so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
