Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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