we have officially lost it.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
