Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
