i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
