Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Green mimosas i think yes
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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