you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
