If i come over, it means nothing
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
