This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
