Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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