she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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