you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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