dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
