batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
