On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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