Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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