It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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