Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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