so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
