I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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