So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
