oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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