apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
