Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize