Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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