New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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