me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
