census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
