My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
