This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
May the power of my ass compel you!!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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