My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
