could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
