I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
