I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
