So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Vodka?
Forever.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
