when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
