I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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