oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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