okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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