when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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