It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
