I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
