i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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