Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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