Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
