He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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