I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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