I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
