I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
