Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
