It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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