"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just gargled with NyQuil
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
